started the day on a bad note...feeling terrible now.
the flu is not getting better and this morning woke up with a cough...wonder what will come next.
din sleep well last nite becoz there were lots of things on my mind. many issues to think through, reflect on etc etc...what should i do moving forward. guess i've more or less made up my mind. may not be the best decision but at least what i think is best for me now..
many questions without any answers, many doubts without clarifications. i hate uncertainties, i hate doubts, i hate assumptions....y can't everything be made simpler by having everyone more open with each other. happy say so, not happy say so...why must i always second guess what others' thinking.
i hate grey area...black is black, white is white...as simple as that. why should i assume that i'm being missed, why should i assume that i'm being thought of, why should i assume that i'm being loved...i'm not someone with super great self esteem to always assume all of the above is true, neither am i a mind-reader...most of all, i hv not been told that i've been missed, thought of or loved.
with uncertainties come doubts...many thoughts hv crossed my mind: perhaps i'm not that important after all, i'm not being missed, maybe there are many others like me, mayb i'm being too sticky, mayb i'm being too imposing, mayb i dun hv a right to demand all these, who m i in the first plc, mayb i'm simply not important enough to be worth the effort or treasured enough to be worth changing for.
aiyah!!! hate to hv so many negative thoughts all the time. giving is a joy but only when there's no expectations. mayb i should not have any expectations at all....but can i achieve that...its tough but i will try.
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